Bikini Kill

How awesome is the image from Jamie McCarthy?  The simplicity of her lines, her Roy Lichtenstein elegance, and oh, yeah.  It's my poster girl Emma Stone!  Reading is even sexier!

Which got me to thinking... are seductively sensible swimsuits finally making a comeback?  I was walking through the hipster section of my neighbourhood the other day... it's actually right next to the business district (we don't have a lot neighbourhood in Newcastle).  Anyway, I noticed that Carla's swimsuit shop sported fetching vintage looks in both her windows, something akin to this:

Thanks Amy at wolfwhistle.org

...with slightly less ruffles.  It prompted me to wonder: are one-pieces making a comeback?  Onesies and jumpsuits have been all over everywhere for a while now, but maybe the tyrannous reign of bikinis has also finally ended?  BIKINI KILL!!

Thanks lastfm.com

Finally we can, in good fashion conscience, dress to actually swim in waves rather than loll about on the sand like lame teenagers from some sort of 1970s hell.  "Puberty Blues", I'm looking at you:

Thanks 82liddiard

As someone who's grown up in a coastal town with a strong beach culture, I speak with authority when I say that NO BIKINI EVER in the history of humankind has successfully withstood a longish swim in the ocean.  Waves and triangles-secured-by-string do not mix!  At least not with a PG rating.  What kind of sex-addled pervert thought bikinis would help swimming anyway?  I get so much nip slip it's nuts.  After about 5 decent waves I have the choice of either focusing the majority of my swim time on securing the modesty of my outfit, or simply taking the whole thing off and call it a - ahem - wash.

I recently found a solution in the form of a sort of 'bikini-onesie' I bought in Marrickville:

It still shows a bunch of skin and makes my little a-cups look like, well squashed a-cups but in a good way I think.  The illusion of boobs.  Most importantly, the halter neck means i can dive under wave after wave and forget everything except the rush of saltwater, the drumbeat of the hot Summer sun and the sweet freedom of not thinking about what I look like.

Thanks pinterest.com

 This Summer, wear more and worry less!